Tag Archives: journey

Foods and Moods

I will start this post saying that as of last week, I gained 1.6 lbs.

I have a suspicion that the added weight came from Sunday, the 16th.  My church celebrated its 160th anniversary.  It was a great day with testimonies and reflections from four former pastors, memories and old friends.  Did I mention the food?  Well there was a lot of food.  United Methodists know how to put together a pot-luck.  This was no exception.

I have realized that food is attached to a lot of things in my life.  Moods. Events. Friends.  I guess I have always known this on some level.  But these past three weeks I’ve been making the effort to really be aware of this connection when I am in the moment.  Recently, I have caught myself and been able to control the subconscious process of mindless eating.  For example, this past Friday I went to a local minor league baseball game.  I ate before I left the house.  I did not purchase food at the game.  It felt like a small victory!  I used to almost automatically purchase junk food at the games.

But back on the 16th, I let my subconscious take over and I got caught up in the socialization and visiting and just filled my plate with things I wanted…not the food my body needed.  These were foods that I think I must associate with feeling happy.  But, looking back, a lot of what I chose would be choices I might make if I am sad.

Regardless, I let my feelings dictate what I ate that day like I have so many times in the past.  It’s like I am in a trance.  Even though I know I am making poor choices, if I am in an environment where most people are eating whatever…I do, too.  It’s like a big green light! This was a slight set-back but I am not focusing on this one day.

A really good friend of mine is following this blog and she’s super supportive. She is on her own health & fitness journey and we have decided to be accountability partners.  When she read my first post, she said she was glad I am on this path but perhaps I am being too hard on myself.

Perhaps she is right. Therefore, I have decided to forgive my behavior on the 16th and move forward.  I choose to see every day as another chance to do the right things.  I am not wasting days fretting over one meal choice that could have been better or one morning I hit the snooze a couple extra times and didn’t leave time to work-out.  And I’ll be back on track next week with another weigh-in.

Speaking weighing in, I just bought this scale a couple years ago.  I am trying to make-nice with it and see it as the valuable tool it is.  Prior to buying the scale, I figured I would just let my jean size determine if I am making progress or not.  But the more I read and study how so many others have been successful with similar journeys, I have noticed a common factor… goal setting.

I feel the best goal to set on a journey such as mine is pounds lost.  It’s easy to track and see progress – two key points in goal setting. How do you know when you arrive at a goal if you don’t know where you started? Additionally, since I am not too far into this, I will be tracking inches lost, too.

Until next week… Thanks for following and God bless J


Let’s Get Started

It’s time for a change.  I can’t continue doing nothing differently yet expecting things to be different.  I’m talking specifically about my weight and the potential negative health results directly related to it. Here’s a little background about me.

I will be 49 in October.  That means 50 is closing in. I have been wrestling with weight for what seems like forever.   My earliest memories include being teased about being chunky….even by people who loved me. The teasing wasn’t meant to be harmful. It was kind of an on-going thing. The person I spent most of my time with until I was about 13, my cousin, was very thin.  Put us together and I made her look thinner and she made me look heavier.  And growing up in the 70s meant that no one thought you could ever be too thin.  So that meant that I was chunky, I guess.  What did I know? I was a kid.


That’s me, on the right, Mickey’s left.  I was about 14.  This photo is from 1982.  I don’t recognize that girl.  My memories all tell me I was always heavy but that girl isn’t.  I remember that trip to Disney in California.  I remember that day and that photo being taken.  But I don’t remember looking in the mirror and ever seeing what I see now when I look at that photo.  That makes me sad.

I still have a few pair of jeans from high school, just in case pin-striped jeans come back in style.  Yea, yea. I know.  Anyway, I look at them today and they seem so small.  I mean, seriously, these jeans are single-digit-sizes!! Whose jeans are these, again?  Mine? Could I have another distorted memory of myself as a youth?  Ugh.

At some point, I started to live up to the image I had of myself.  I became chunky. Using the word ‘became’ sounds so odd; as if I made a conscious decision to be chunky.  If I was asked to try to pinpoint when that happened, I would say around the time my daughter was born.  I gained 60 pounds when I was pregnant.  That was 27 years ago.  I am carrying that around, plus a little more, right now.  I have yo-yoed up and down throughout the years.  I am at a high-weight point now.

Since that time, I remain one of the chunky ones in my group of friends.   According to several healthy weight resources, I have an average of 70-80 pounds to lose.  That is A LOT of pounds for a 5 foot, 49 year old woman to lose.

Back when I was in my late 20s to early 30s, I started researching topics like food and exercise.  I’ve watched food trends come and go (eat this…not that….no, wait.  Go ahead and eat this.) and I’ve also seen the exercise world go from believing only aerobic exercise was good for women (I started with Jane Fonda in the late 80s) to realizing that weight training doesn’t bulk women up unless they want bulk and tailor a fitness program to meet that goal. I keep asking myself, “If you’re so smart about food and fitness, why are you still fat?”  That is the burning question to be answered.

That is where this blog comes in.  Through this blog, I will record my journey to health and wellness.  My initial goal for this website is two-fold.  First, I want to use it as a tracker for my weight-loss goals and progress.  Also, I want to use it as a venue to share information and recipes I encounter along the way.  Secondly, this written online journal will be a major tool to use when working through the underlying issues that keep me fat.  I know poor eating habits and lack-of-exercise = an unhealthy, overweight person.  However, there is more to being overweight than just food-to-mouth.  I have always believed that to be true.  Now, I am ready to identify, work through, and move past these obstacles.

I’ll be posting weekly on Wednesdays with a weigh-in and a recap of the week prior. Next week I’ll review goal specifics and my starting point.

I am a Christian and I believe that God is an amazing do-over God.  That means that it’s not too late for me to be fit and healthy.  If you are alive, improvement can be achieved.  Will you take this journey with me? Let’s get started!